Run. Run. Run.
Run. Run. Run.
Body can’t take it no more. Sides heaving he falls to the ground. As he gasps for air his hands reach out and he tries to crawl forward.
Must not stop. Must not stop.
A cry of anguish escapes from his lips. He could be heard but it escapes nonetheless. The tears that he had been holding in find their release. Streaming down his face. Mixing water, mud, and blood into one.
Blood.
Why did it have to follow him here? He should have known better. He could never escape. Yet…. He kept crawling forward, knowing losing time meant the other was gaining. He got up and trying to catch his breath, grabbed a nearby tree. The tree’s surface scratched his palms. He looked at them and saw blood.
Blood. Blood. And more blood.
=Flashback=
He was new to his class. Nothing different.
It was Changmin’s curse that he sat by him.
As the new kid smiled Changmin felt shivers go down his spine.
Warning. It was a warning. But Changmin pushed it back. Nothing to fear, he scolded himself.
But in fact… it was everything to fear.
The new kid followed Changmin everywhere. Where Changmin would go he would follow. The more Changmin tried to escape, the closer the boy was.
Going home was the only place the kid could not follow. That Changmin would not let him follow. Changmin would make sure to get the kid preoccupied with something and leave while the kid was busy. Something in his gut told him never to let the new kid find his home.
He just wished he had tried harder.
But how could he help it? when he thought of his love one his mind would wonder, his defenses brought down. But that was no excuse. He had not seen what was coming.
Although all the evidence had been there.
How the boy listened to no one but him. How he talked to no one but him. How he tried to be in everything with him. Him. Him. Him. He should have seen it.
Should have seen the way the boy would growl when anyone else tried to approach him. That possessiveness, as if Changmin belonged to him. How Changmin had wished he had seen.
But all he had thought was that this new kid was clingy. Clingy and annoying. And one day he had not been able to hold it in anymore.
It had been a bad day from the start. Gotten late to school. Scolded by the teacher. Forgotten his homework. His pen broke, spilling ink all over him. Who could blame him for finally losing his patience with the new kid?
“Stay away, faggot.” he had hissed. And that had been the key to it all.
But he had not stopped there. He had gone on, hurting the kid in all the words that came to mind. He had taken out his frustration on the kid… and had paid a costly price.
When he had gotten home he had runned to his lover’s embrace. Taking in his mate’s fragrance. Forgetting his worries, his stress.
As they had kissed and hugged affectionately Changmin told all the day’s events. His lover listened comforting him on the pain and chiding him for hurting someone else. His mate had told him that he should of understood the poor new kid.
His lover had always been the kind one. The sweet one. The one with a big heart.
He had not deserved what Changmin had brought to him.
But, how was Changmin to know that that day the new kid had followed him… had seen those hugs… those kisses… hoe could Changmn have seen the kid’s eyes grow dark with hate, seen how his hands had tightened around a backpack veins protruding out as he choked the backpack to death?
Oh how Changmin wished he had seen.
=Flashback ended=
He snapped out of his memories. He had to continue running. Time was against him. Everything was against him. How much time had passed? How much time did he have left?
Or… Or.. Was he already to late?
No. He propelled his body to keep going. He had to do this. He had to put an end to all this pain.
Pain… pain.
=flashback=
He had come home a bit later than usual. Oh how he wished he hadn’t. but he had thought it might be romantic to but the man he loved flowers.
Romantic… what irony. Was romantic leaving your loved one in the hands of a monster?
But how was he supposed to know he was a monster?
He had come home to find the door opened.
Why had his precious been so trusting of others? Why?
He had entered the house, flowers in hand, calling his lover’s name. He had gasped as he had seen the living rooms ruins greeting him.
Couches ripped. Coffee tables overturned. Shattered vases. Broken TV. And blood. Blood smeared on the white walls, welcoming Changmin home.
He screamed his lover’s name now I panic. He ran, ran, and ran. As he entered their bedroom a ghastly sight stared him in the face.
His precious… his love… was on the bed. His body was positioned in a way God had not created a human to be positioned like. The man’s head was twisted so that the face stared at Changmin. Eyes wide open yet they stared nowhere. They had a plastic look to them. Red lips opened as if speaking, but there was no voice.
“JAEJOONG!” the scream erupted from Changmin’s throat s he ran to his lover. He picked the lifeless body up, crying the name over and over.
But there was no response. His Jae had left this world.
=Flashback ended=
Changmin pushed branches out of his way. But they seemed to go after him, their arms extended.
Trying to stop him. But he would not be stopped. He would not! He struggled to detangle himself from a branch that had gotten stuck in his jacket. Finally he was free but his jacket still hanged on the branch. Changmin kept running.
He was not even aware that that jacket was just another arrow pointing in the direction that he was going. A track for the predator to follow him… the prey.
A predator...yes, most definitely a predator.
=flashback=
“Changmin… Welcome home.”
Changmin who had been holding his Jae to his chest crying, froze. He turned and his mouth dropped open in shock.
“You.”
The figure stepped out of the corner. He smiled at Changmin. “I could not let anyone else have you. This dog here was not worthy of you. You only belong to me Changmin. Me and no one else.”
Changmin felt rage shake through all of his body. This… thing in front of him had killed Jaejoong. This thing had taken the only one in Changmin’s heart.
“YOU BASTARD! YOU SICKO!” He screamed. “MURDERER!” he choked. “How could you kill him? He was so sweet and kind he had never hurt anyone.”
The figure had scoffed. “He made the mistake to think he could be with you. Changmin, only I can be with you .”
“SHUT UP! STOP SAYING THAT! You’re a m-monster. I will never be by you!”
“Are you sure?” The figure took out a butcher knife from behind him. The edge of the blade was covered with blood.
Changmin gagged as he saw the weapon that had killed his Jaejoong.
“You’ll never have me.”
=flashback end=
How foolish of Changmin. But he had said that because he had just lost the only person that had mattered to him. He had ran away thinking that the least he could do for his Jae was to never let that murderer have him. After all that was what he was after for…
How was he suppose to know that he would fall in love again? That he would find someone who was pure, innocent, fragile yet strong? Someone who would make his heart whole again?
Changmin heard noises of twigs breaking behind him.
No. No. he looked at the mansion that was still a distance away. He was so close though. So close…
He could not let that demented person catch up to him. He must not let his love one die again.
He kept running, only too well aware of the footsteps closing in on him.
His body could not take this running for much longer. It screamed at him to slow down. To stop. To rest.
He called to his mind the scenes from earlier and continued to run.
=flashback=
He had kept moving, doing his best not to leave any traces behind. But then he had come upon this small little town and he had stayed there.
Something in this town had called to him, had whispered to his soul that he might have just found home again.
And then he had seen a boy. A boy that made his heart skip a beat. A boy who had the ability to chase away the sadness and pain that layed embedded deep into Changmin’s heart.
A boy named Junsu.
With Junsu Changmin had finally thought he could let his past be the past.
But then he had been found. Somehow he had found him. And upon finding Changmin he had found Changmin’s love.
Changmin had once again arrived to a broken house. He had run inside, rushing through all the rooms, dread in his heart. With every door he opened he expected to find a Junsu, dead on a bed.
He found Junsu and the thing upstairs… in the attic. A trail of blood led him up to the discovery.
He saw the monster. And then he saw his beloved behind the monster, on a chair, a roped looped over his neck. Junsu’s eyes widened with fear when he saw Changmin.
“JUNSUU!!!” Changmin screamed running to him.
The killer had kicked the chair then and Junsu had dropped. The rope had tightened on Junsu’s wind pipe, starting to crush it. He started to choke, his eyes started rolling back.
Changmin reached for Junsu and grabbing him raised him high so that he would not pull on the rope. Then Changmin struggled to one-handedly take the rope off Junsu.
The monster watched in fury from behind. He picked up a crowbar and walked to Changmin, raising it high in the air. He would never let anyone take his Changmin.
The crowbar came down onto Changmin with no mercy. Changmin gasped in pain as he fell down and Junsu fell down with him.
It was only luck that Changmin had been able to take off the rope from Junsu, or.. Junsu would have finished suffocating then.
The attacker had grabbed Changmin by the hair and pulled him away from Junsu and towards the stairs. Changmin let him.
He had seen the small rise of his unconscious boyfriend’s chest signaling he was alive. Changmin knew that he must not call attention to Junsu… So that Junsu could live.
Once they got downstairs, Changmin had escaped the grip and had thrown punches. He had screamed at the figure that he would escape again.
Then he ran out, into the forest praying that the person would follow. Praying that Junsu would stay alive. Praying that he would make it to his friend’s house where he knew everything would be solved.
=flashback ended=
“I’m here.” Changmin gasped as he reached the porch of the mansion. He bent over, gasping, trying to recover his breath.
“And So am I.” a voice spoke behind him.
Changmin turned and faced the man. This man who had been the new kid. This man who had been the killer of Jaejoong. This man who had tried to kill Junsu.
“Bastard.” Changmin growled. “Don’t you know how pathetic you are, chasing and wanting someone you’ll never have?”
“I have a name.” the man growled back. “And I don’t understand why you couldn’t give me a chance. Changmin I am your happiness.”
Changmin laughed bitterly. “My happiness? Ever since I have met you I have cursed the day God created you. You have only always tried destroying what truly made me happy.”
The figure took a step closer to Changmin. Then another. And another.
“Changmin. If I can’t have you, then No one can.” He took out a gun and pointed it at Changmin.
Changmin took a deep breath. At least the noise of the gun would bring his friend out. At least then at least Junsu could be saved.
BANG.
Changmin felt nothing. He opened his eyes to see his stalker on the ground, holding his hand in pain. His gun layed on the ground, a few feet away from him.
“Changmin, get the gun.” A soft voice told Changmin.
Changmin sighed with relief. His friend had not failed him. He quickly picked up the dropped gun.
“I already called the cops. They’ll be here soon. You’re nightmare is finally over, Changmin.”
Changmin nodded. “Thank you, Yoochun. Call an ambulance too. Junsu is in the attic at my house. He’s hurt.. But alive.”
The figure on the ground looked up at Changmin.
Changmin smiled at him. “Yes Yunho, this time you did not steal my loved one. I promised myself you would never take anyone precious away from me again.”
Sirens of police cars were heard.
“Yunho, I hope you don’t get too comfortable in your jail cell. Because I promise you I will make sure you get the death sentence. You will never hurt anyone. Never.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------END--------------------------------------------------------------
Review: 'Angelic Reviwe' from Angelic Colors
Reviewer: Ping
Title: 10/10
The title suits the story well; it was further emphasized at the last part of the story.
Well done.
Poster/Background: 9/10
Hmm… all the characters are present,
it would have been better if the poster appear much more gothic. Black suits the poster well.
Cast: 10/10
I like the casts, as a band, they already have wonderful chemistry to begin with, well done.
And you made YunHo did a great job in portraying an obsessed, crazy murderer.
And of course, a wonderful stalker too.
Foreword: 10/10
Thrilling, send shivers down the spine, and at the same time,
gave readers the urge to continue reading, and of course, pressing the next button.
Originality and Creativity: 9/10
Well, I can’t give you one more point because you admitted in your foreword that the plot
registered in your mind when you were watching “American gothic.” But all the same, it was great.
Story and Plot: 19/20
Fabulous, very rare in the world of fan fiction.
Flow: 8/10
There were some words that were repeated too many times in one sentence, or other reasons,
I just can’t seem to be able to go with the flow in certain paragraphs.
Writing style: 9/10
Really fresh and original. Worthy of applauses.
Spelling, Grammar and Vocabulary: 7/10
A few mistakes here and there, vocabulary wise, you should use more words.
Spelling mistakes were spotted in the foreword, for example “foolish,” and you wrote, “follosh.”
Overall enjoyment: 5/5
I was captivated by ChangMin’s and all his flashbacks. Poor JaeJoong,
such an awful and horrible way to die. *sobs*
Bonus: 5/5
I like the way how you describe ChangMin’s fear and YunHo’s obsession with him.
Reviewer’s comment:
If there is any problem with the review, or you would like to make some amendments,
please leave a comment, so that I can look into the areas that didn’t some changes and decide for myself.
But overall, well done!!!
Total:102/100 (includes b-points)
--------------------------------End of Review-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments from previous readers (from winglin) :
sandy
when you said murderer i swear i had yunho in my head!!!
poor jae for dying that way!! and thank goodness yoochun was ther to help!
and junsu was still a live too!!!!
Protozoa -- 24 September 2008 at 5:16 p.m.
quite nice.. enjoy reading...
me :] -- 16 September 2008 at 5:26 p.m.
that whats the best fic i have ever read =)
Pauliene -- 30 August 2008 at 8:09 p.m.
Oew! Horrorstory~ like it! Scared me. Not a good idea to read it in the middle of the night though XD
aizawa -- 24 August 2008 at 7:29 a.m.
damn girl that was good
i thought you said you couldnt do oneshots
liar
lol
love you
Lovely4ever -- 24 August 2008 at 7:17 a.m.
O.O that was seriously good! you should write some more!
Ju Young >.< -- 24 August 2008 at 1:09 a.m. Damn that was intense... I would never of guessed it was Yunho though. teehee. But then again, he usually does play the bad role... I liked this one-shot, it was very creative and left you in suspense :)
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